Who Invited Sarah?

Buckle up baby girls. This month was a rollercoaster and you can tell because this is the April recap and it is currently halfway through May. Oops…

It was very hard to pick a top 3 moments from this month because so much was going on. The events of this month felt too chaotic and honestly fabulous at the same time to leave out of this post. Gaze your eyes upon the fab and drab moments of the month.

I had a full-on spiral at the Grace Bible Grill-Off but it’s fine because Branson played the national anthem and it healed something inside me. I ate mac and cheese, an unknown alcoholic beverage that children were also accidentally drinking, glorious banana pudding, and some of my own tears that made their way to my mouth at about 6:30 pm as I sprinted to the car.

I co-hosted a March Madness championship party with Brooke, and made jalapeño poppers that may have changed lives. I forced a man to help me stuff my poppers. They also set off the smoke alarm which was unfortunate and ruined the vibes almost as much as Houston losing. Brooke made Oreo balls that I proceeded to eat everyday after for like a week (no lie). I showed people my hidden Spider Man “shrine”. It was a success.

I went to Gulf Shores with Jess and Brooke. Jess drove the whole way there and back like the queen she is. A bachelor party moved into the house next to us after our first night. Unfortunately, they were loud buggers and I have learned lately on vacation, I become a grandma and am tired at 9 pm and want to go to sleep immediately. They did apologize in the morning, but then continued to play their music terribly loud. I looked insane when they apologized. Picture this: tired girl. just awakened. large glasses. messy hair. carrying a large coffee and her yogurt. It was a sight to see. The house we stayed in was a princess house and it was such a good vacation. We tanned, we beach-walked, we lived, we laughed, Jess’s tire popped. This was unfortunate because we were only one hour from home and it was in the MIDDLE of the highway so it was a smidge scary. We lived to tell the tale and our towing man was very kind.

Conlan came to Houston. Flights to Houston apparently like to give him a hard time. Last time he came to visit he got stuck in Charlotte and had to stay the night at my friend Emma’s new apartment, it was a crazy time. This time he was about to board and then they announced that something was wrong with the plane and the mechanics were not going to be able to come for 3 hours. WE thought he was going to have to stay over night in Chicago but in fact the plane never took off and he ended up having to ride a bus to Philly the next day. I hope he will continue to visit me even though American Airlines has him on a ” we are gonna make this the most complicated flight” list. We played volleyball. We had a pool day. I got sunburnt in a very “I know better” kind of way. We went to church on Good Friday and I cried (per usual). We spent Easter with Jess’s family and had the BEST corn casserole (yum yum). We decided on Sunday that we were going to Austin for a spontaneous kayak day. It was fun.

“Top 10 cleanest rooms bro” upon seeing my bedroom (it was messy)

“I remember my first time ____” for example ” I remember my first time playing volleyball”, etc. the options are endless.

“Bro” particularly every other word.

It was Max’s birthday. We Burger Joint’d. I made his invitation. There was not cake just burgers. I fought for my life this whole time and ate a burger and a half. slay, go me.

I booked a spontaneous Delta flight to LA for Memorial Day weekend to visit AMBER!! No thoughts, just vibes. If I vanish, check LAX or a hotdog stand nearby.

Greetings, peasants.

It was my birthday this month, not that anyone really celebrated it properly. I was offered a “party bandana” (offensive), endured an off-key “sweepy on your birthday” song (cringe), and was given one treat. One. I’ve filed a formal grievance.

Sarah has been too distracted this month. She left me at home as she galivanted to the beach and basically ignored me when her brother came to visit and kept telling her Jupiter was better than me. The audacity. I’ve been napping in the closet on the highest shelf in protest. I remain beautiful. I remain above it all. However, I am sick of my mother telling all of her friends that she is taking a break from dating for the foreseeable future. I think she needs to stop thinking about the ones they call men all together. She has me. Why would she need anyone else?

You may continue.

– Your Majesty Mia

This section is where I let chatgpt make me a hotdog to try next month and I will report back on if it is good or terrible.

disclaimer: if they are gross, I will not try them.

This feels like it will be extra yummy so I will definitely report back!

A monthly by-the-numbers summary…

• Hotdogs eaten: 2
• Times I said “I understand”: 157
• Collages started but not finished: 7
• Emotional Spirals Survived: at least 5
• Texts Left Unread: 314
• Questions I’ve asked Chat GPT: 300
• Photos Taken: 949

LOVE this song. It has encompassed so many of my emotions this year and as you will see when I announce album of the month, there is theme.

Um. Yes Please. This was within the top 2 songs of the month. It is a major hit and has been one of my go to cleaning and driving tunes all month long. The only bummer is that the other songs HAIM has release on this album so far have been not it. Crossing my fingers that there are gonna be some other bangers on their album.

Lorde is BACK. She has done it again. I have had melodrama on repeat since 2017 and I have been waiting for her to re-emerge. I fear this is going to be my song and possible album of the summer. I will get back to you on that in 44 days, 10 hours, 22 minutes and 50 seconds.

All I am going to say is… Mood. Thank you Miss Taylor.

I have been loving this album for months now, but I believe it deserves special recognition since I have been using it to get all my emotions out for these first 4 months of 2025. Thank you Gracie Abrams for encompassing everything it means to be a girl with emotions.

On to the juice.

Status: not dating.

Exception: if a man with curly hair and a mustache arrives on the scene, preferably a well-fed, emotionally literate, God loving man.

No applications currently open, but I’ll keep the inbox metaphorically unlocked.

I always say to buckle up but this time I mean it. I am letting you into my deep dark thoughts.

Should I cut my hair short? Like a bob? 

This thought has gotten me yelled at by all my friends because according to them I have mermaid hair and should never cut it. 

Brown Toe Shoes

Brown shoes hehe

Recently I have been trying to dress a lot cooler (at least by my standards). This actually has been so helpful for my decision making and has sorta helped my self esteem. I have so many articles of clothing that I feel like I can style and bring to life. These shoes have been my fixation, however, I have been advised not to purchase them because they are a tad out there. I agree, but think they are so fun.

What exactly is my type in men?

This has been a mystery. Thinking about the men I have dated there seems to not be a common denominator between them. All I know now is I am currently loving a mustache (this is negotiable), men who are considerate, goofy, think that my Spider-Man figures are cool, who love Jesus, and are hot (these are non-negotiable). If you know a man like this please leave me a comment at the bottom of this post.

I want a second cheeseburger.

This was thought during an insane time of this month where I was borderline in emotional peril and was so hungry. I only ended up eating half the burger, but nevertheless, I am proud of myself

I wonder if I buy a stick-on mustache if it would replace the desire for a man with one.

This was an insane thought I just had, but it is funny am I right? Stick-on mustaches are good for many things: disguise, feeling how a real mustache would feel while eating, and of course just for fun.

How many hotdogs is too many hotdogs?

This is a question that plagues me constantly. What is the limit? Two hotdogs is standard I fear. Truly though, how many do y’all think I could eat in one sitting?

Why do all my good collages emerge from emotional instability?

Why does it feel like I can only collage when I feel immense emotions of happiness or sadness. Why can’t I just be a level headed collage maker? hmm? Why is that not possible for me?

Maybe all the feelings are just gone.

This was a concerning thought, but in fact I am here to report all the feelings are present and accounted for.

I bet if Matthew Murdock was a real person he would think I was hot.(he is in fact blind)

This is truly unhinged because #1 he is blind and #2 he is a fictional superhero character. Do I still think my statement is true? Absolutely.

The only thing I can do now is keep being hot and funny.

I understand.

1. Finish one book on my currently reading list.
2. Be more consistent with exercise and healthy dinner choices.
3. Start and maintain a consistent morning routine.

Good news! I think this is the first month that I have finished all my goals. Woo woo! I have been waaay better with waking up, still gotta fine tune that routine but we are calling that a win. I read 1 and a half books and will hopefully continue on this streak and I have been eating all my meals and they are healthy, pretty much every day! Go April Sarah!

1. Finish two books on my currently reading list.(moving up baby!)
2. Collage with magazines twice!
3. Get a new job!

I am sorry this was soo late, be on the look out for May, actually on time this month and probably on my birthday!! Also keep your eye out for a book update coming this month! Love y’all, thanks for reading!