Who Invited Sarah?

Again a lot late on the newsletter this month, but oh boy are you in for a treat! WE have done a 180 in the past month

First off ya girl got a new job! If anyone has heard me speak in the last 2 years they know I was a sad depressy girl who needed something new and exciting. I also sort of had an identity crisis. I had this expectation that I had to do the most impressive thing in the entire world to be happy and to be viewed as enough. As I have been living in Houston the last few years, a lot of things have changed. First, I realized I don’t have to be a Doctor to be happy. To be honest with you, for me, if I had chosen to pursue being a doctor I would probably be less happy than I am now.

I have truly realized that all I need to be happy is a job that I like & that I am passionate about that supports my life outside of work. As cheesy as this sounds I don’t wanna live to work, I wanna work to live.

This has been SUPER hard for me because I have always been so academically and externally motivated. It’s scary to think about people not being impressed with me. I have gotten so far, but I would be lying if I didn’t still have some feelings out doubt. But, that is not the point currently, the point is that I GOT A NEW JOB and I am loving it. It has felt like a weight is lifted. I get to be creative and organize things and I LOVE it.

Okay now back to the other fun things that happened in May!

A lot of May was spent planning my birthday party. It was on the 31st of May and all the details will be featured in an in depth post, because I know you all care so much about my Weenies & Tinis themed night (this sounds sarcastic, but I bet you do care). Keep an eye out for that post!

Anna had her birthday bash at Lawrence Park, the unofficial hangout for our fab friends. We picnicked, played spike ball, and everyone showered Anna with gummy candy. We even devoured gummies shaped like Shaq’s head—it was a surreal experience.

I got my hair cut. *everyone cheers in unison* I let a professional cut my bangs instead of doing them myself! Wooo! At first, I loved it and then I wasn’t used to the super short bangs and I thought I hated it and now we have come full circle and I love it. I feel like lately I have been becoming more and more myself and making decisions based on what I like and it’s so wonderful, this hair cut was a big part of that. I feel cool!

Then we had The Bumpies! If you are not familiar, The Bumpies are a sand volleyball tournament that happens every couple of months through GBC to support a chosen charity. We have had quite the journey with these events. The first one was fab, but I didn’t play so they had to have another one so it would be better (obviously because I was now playing). The second tourney, however, had the WORST weather. Like I mean freezing cold (40 degrees, which is freezing for me now, sorry Dad, I can’t survive the PA cold anymore) and pouring rain. While I couldn’t feel my feet for most of it, I think it was one of most fun times I had this year. This bumpy was the opposite, it was SO HOT, but still super duper fun! Go check out my camedia page for some fun pictures from all the bumps hehe.

May was the official month of my first cold plunge. I thought I was only gonna be able to handle it for less than a minute, but I got in and stayed for FOUR WHOLE minutes. I actually felt like such a champ and I fear I am obsessed with it now. It also helps that it is like always 90 degrees and above here so anything cold feels amazing. I’ll check back in when we enter Texas winter.

I finally went more west than Austin, TX. I went to Cali baby. It was so exciting to finally visit Amber and Daniel. I flew into LAX and Amber picked me up and we went to Woon for dinner. It was such a cool vibe and my dinner was literally so yummy. That night we started a show called overcompensating that was actually hilarious and also Charli XCX did the soundtrack so I was vibing.

The next day we drove so I could see the Hollywood sign, from afar of course like the nonchalant queen I am. We went to the coffee shop from the Harry Styles song, the walls were crazy and did not match the floor, but it was still a vibe. Then we went to this place for lunch called All Time. We had to wait in line, but it was so worth it, they also gave out wine and donuts in line while we were waiting to get a table. Very LA am I right?

Amber got us tickets to a comedy show, which was my first. It was quirky and funny, and I honestly felt like I was in the audience of a tv filming. For a very late dinner we got yummy sushi and headed home to finished the WHOLE first season of Overcompensating.

The next day was my favorite day because we went to a yummy coffee shop & a comic store & got Pinkies hot dogs!! The coffee shop was go get em tiger, shout out Eli for the rec! I came alive in the comic book store. They had a life-sized Spider-Man, who I obviously took a photo with. I bought compendium one of Invincible, which I am suuuuper excited to read and a few other cool Spider-Man and Daredevil comics. Pinkies was a slay. That is all. I did in fact take a photo with the life-sized hot dog as I should.

I of course, had to go to Erewhon and get a Hailey Bieber smoothie for 40 dollars. INSANE. But I wont lie, she tasted good. We also got Community Goods coffee and matcha and it was good, but we waited 90 minutes! Would I do this everyday? No. Did I enjoy spending time with Amber in line? Obviously. It was so fun to visit LA and I will def be back for another visit!

The morning of my birthday party Anna and Tommy Snow took me water skiing for the first time. I was severely humbled and I did not wear the proper bathing suit bottoms…oops. I am excited to try again at a later date lol.

Lets move on to what Mia would call the most important part of the blog… I am not sure if I agree.

May was… a betrayal. Sarah left me — again — this time to visit Amber in California. Yes, that Amber. The one I was forced to live with last year when our power went out. I, a regal feline of refined taste, had to cohabitate with dogs. In their home. And with Daniel, who is a man but tolerable. I survived, but I did not forget.

So when Sarah flew off to frolic with them like it was no big deal, I stayed behind with Brooke. Sweet, clueless Brooke. I leapt onto the TV daily to reestablish dominance. I body-blocked Brooke’s doorway like a velvet-footed bouncer. I reminded her — and everyone — that all beds are mine. When Sarah finally returned, I ran to the door in a flurry of emotions (but mostly relief), meowed like a dramatic Victorian widow, and curled up beside her that night to silently demand an explanation.

She threw a birthday party. I tolerated it from home. No one brought me home a hot dog (rude). Meanwhile, the Spider-Man shrine continues to grow. I remain suspicious. He does not have fur. He does not purr. He cannot be trusted.

Still… I love Sarah. Only Sarah. And I’ll keep loving her — loudly when she returns, and passive-aggressively when she leaves me again. Long live me.

— Princess Mia,CEO of Vibes, Survivor of Dogs, Bed Ownership Advocate

Okay so I lied. Oops. Last month I said I was gonna try hot dogs that chat gpt suggested for me. I realized I do not ever make my own hotdogs in the comfort of my home so I will not be doing that. Forgive me please. If we cannot change our minds about hot dogs then what can we do? Instead I will be discussing the hotdogs I have eaten each month.

May was honestly a slay because I got to eat 3 stunning hot dogs. One straight from the source ( yoyo’s) and two that were just as good if not better. When yoyo’s sponsors me y’all better not dig this up as dirt on me. Without yoyo’s (& chatgpt) these other hot dogs wouldn’t exist.

A monthly by-the-numbers summary…I will not lie the month of May had me unhinged. I had many emotional breakdowns caused by none other than men and my high expectations for them that are not met and also by myself and the amount of change that has been going on.

After visiting Amber in LA, I rediscovered this song. We discussed being too much for people and unfortunately I have had that experience many times. Now that I think about it though, it is fortunate. I deserve someone who doesn’t think I am too much for them. But I will still keep listening to this song and being momentarily moody.

This song is a banger. Just listen to it please.

This song is a new addition to my normal ones. It is so sad. Men, no offense, you won’t get it. Women, beware, you will cry. It encompasses so many emotions.

For some reason this month I picked sooo many depressing songs, but I won’t lie I love me a sad song. Lizzy is so good and this song gives me a bittersweet feeling that can only come from loving someone who can’t love you back the way you want them too.

Ladies, it’s a Brat summer revival. This album is completely different from the songs I picked, but also if that wasn’t the case I wouldn’t be Sarah. Spring Breakers is my scream in the car song and I don’t care who knows it.

Status: only having hinge to make stickers for my text messages out of the funny pictures men decide are good to put on their profile.

Other than that no man has offered me anything that will make my life better so we will be remaining alone until someone comes along and does so. I have a squish on a man but he will not be revealed sorry.

With that in mind…*drum roll please*

 WHO INVITED LOVE?

Seeking: one (1) man brave enough to date Sarah Keast.

Must be: emotionally literate, collage-tolerant, hot dog-friendly, and respectful of feline sovereignty (Princess Mia reigns supreme).

Apply here or be haunted by this missed opportunity forever:

🔗Apply to date Sarah……as a joke……actually it’s kinda real. Do with that what you will.

This is a dating application, not a prank.

(Maybe both.)

Finally, here we are. The inside of my brain. Sometimes my favorite place to be, other times it is the place I would never like to be.

What if I’m not actually overwhelmed, I’m just overthinking being overwhelmed and spiraling about it for no reason.

Hopefully this interviewer doesn’t think I’m weird just because I have bangs.

I think stickers are the only way I should express myself through text now. No emojis. Just stickers.

I have a squish on someone who is so tall and beautiful and I feel like he should just know I’m amazing immediately. Like… use your brain and fall in love with me sir.

I don’t want to say “hey” because what if it’s too much and he thinks I’m unwell.

I should have just handed them my collage and said “this is who I am.”

I’m not anxious my knee is just vibrating aggressively because of vibes.

It’s actually fine. Unless it’s not. But I won’t know until I dissociate later and review it like footage.

I just got a haircut and I HATE it…[five minutes later] I LOVE it. It’s so me. It’s giving emotional unraveling in a good way.

I’m going to make birthday trivia and include the time I got cheated on and immediately threw up my Thanksgiving dinner.

If I don’t find a birthday dress that makes me feel like the best version of myself and also slightly dangerous, I’m canceling the party.

I should start gate-keeping hot dogs. Not everyone deserves them.

Everyone’s being too normal and I can’t relate to it today.

I’m not picky, I just know exactly what I want and refuse to accept anything less and that makes people uncomfortable.

Water skiing humbled me.

If I just became a hoarder of Spider-Man artifacts would my friends support me or try to get me to sell everything?

1. Finish two books on my currently reading list.(moving up baby!)
2. Collage with magazines twice!
3. Get a new job!

I gotta stop putting that I am gonna finish more than one book because it never works out. I believe in myself but ya girl is busy. I did collage with magazines twice which I am so happy about and hope that I can continue to use that aspect of my creativity. & I GOT A NEW JOBBBB. WOOOO!

1. Finish one Book! (I’ve learned guys, I’ve learned)
2. Get back to normal workout schedule.
3. Have the best time in Miami with my Mom!

I was late again. If I am late for my June recap, I give you all permission to yell at me. Thank you for reading about my May!